art is....

last night i went to this really cool hangout spot with a friend but that place was rather expensive-the food and drinks, but the atmosphere was cool and all. anyways, my friend and i, we were there because he wanted to listen to people reciting poems or something. i just tagged along. actually i wanted to listen to the poem reciting thingy too.

now before the poem reading/reciting/competition started, there were these two singaporean dudes who performed first. and boy was their performance a weird one! this one guy was reading poems from his book or personal diary of sorts while the other was playing/controlling music of epic weird-ness proportions. then i looked around and i see those so-called artsy people's faces- some were contorting, some were nodding, some had their eyes closed, others were looking down on the floor while i had this blank, confused stare. am i not getting the subliminal messages that he had oh-so-carefully written down in his book?

it's funny what some people consider as art. it's funny and weird and perplex. it's just plain.... weird. am i too stupid or inartistic or not abstract enough to see what i am seeing and to hear what i am hearing as fabulous works of poetry? 

i think, from this experience, i have learnt something new about myself. i'm not modern, i'm not old. i'm not cool but i'm not necessarily uncool either. i'm neither weird nor am i described as being typically sane. i'm not artsy but at least i know what's good and what's not good. i'm not abstract but i think my mind's abstract enough for my own good. i'm the in-between guy. caught in the middle. that's me.

i think people fall into labels. every single one of us. we fall. we are stereotyped. we get out of one label and into the next sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. we are being labeled with or without our knowledge. i think what separates a label of a person from the next one is the degree or intensity of that label which somehow has got to do with how one thinks, looks, reacts etc..

it's a funny world we live in. cruelly funny.

p.s: art is subjective. thus, abstract.

little us

it came and conquered

without mercy

taking away everything.

it came and destroyed

without sorry

cities disappearing

impossible it became for breathing.

it came and disappeared

without feeling guilty

it left us bewildered

scrambling and in awe

it left us wondering

how little we are

in God's mighty eyes.

p.s: every little moment is life changing. to Japan and those who are affected by the recent disasters, my heart, thoughts and prayers are for all of you. may God protect us all.

war.

love's a war 

some lose

some win

love's a war

with no endless suffering

love's a war

some survive

some parish

love's a war

with many casualties

love's a war

some hope

some dream

love's a war

with many possibilities

love's a war

some get hurt

some get healed

love's a war

with many participants

love's a war

of complex proportions

love's a war

with no instructions

love's a war

of epic emotions.

i must

i must grow more mature.

i must study less and learn more.

i must be calm and not stress so much.

i must learn to think less.

i must learn the art of being selfish.

i must learn to save my money.

i must learn to use my time wisely.

i must realize that the real world is cruel.

i must always remember that life is fair.

i must be more aware of the things around me.

i must must eat less.

i must lose weight.

i must learn to become a better person.

i must save the environment, even if it is in the smallest of ways.

i must spend time with everyone when i can.

i must learn to accept the past, be aware of the present and be prepared for the future.

i must learn to never regret the past.

i must always remember God.

p.s: yeah, there are many things i should learn.

it never comes back

it goes away

and it never comes back

how cruel it is

to never find its way back

it goes away 

and never looks back

how evil it is

to not even glance back

it goes away

and never regrets

how malicious it is 

to not even feel regret

it goes away

and is never replaced

oh! how stupid we are

to think that it can ever be replaced

it goes away

without us noticing

how silly we are

to have not been noticing

it goes away

without us even caring

how selfish we are

to not even give a damn

it goes away

it is never going to come back

so before you regret

start to appreciate

trust me

it will never come back

no matter how much you yearn

it will never come back.

it will never come back.

p.s: memories, i wish i can just ......

9-11

last night, before i went to sleep, my roommate and i were watching videos on youtube. some of the videos we watched were of videos from the 9-11 tragedy. though it happened approximately 10 years ago, the videos still manage to send chills going down my spine. the thing that bothered and struck me most about the videos were of people hanging out from their offices' windows located hundreds of feet off the ground and some of them were so desperate to escape the flames and smoke engulfed building that they jumped out of them and falling and falling and falling. there was this one video that showed 5 people jumping from one of the buildings one after the other.

what got me so upset after that were the thoughts of: "what were they thinking? what did they feel? did they think about hope? survival?"

in a way, the videos have made me realize how very short our time is on earth. those people, they thought that 9-11-2001 was gonna be another boring, routine, as-usual-working-day and suddenly everything changed. planes started crashing into both buildings. fire, smoke, screaming, dying. death. the end. 

in a split second, your whole life changes. it was not only the victim's families who were affected but ultimately the whole world suffered the loss and also suffered the consequences of the attacks. it was brutal. hundreds of lives were lost on that fateful day. and millions others were changed. forever.

for the first time in my life i'm actually scared about living. fearing the uncertainties and the unknown. life is so short. very short. 

p.s: if today was your last day on earth, what will you do?

sharing.

i like to look at people and things around me. i like to think about what they are thinking or why something ends up the way they are. how the past shapes the present and how the present will ultimately decided the future. i like to look at people as i am talking to them. i like to know what they think. ultimately, i like to talk and listen. i like sharing. just exchanging thoughts. opinions too.

i like people. not all people. but i like people enough to not be a loner. i like my personal space but i like to talk with people too. people can surprise you with their thoughts and feelings. i like to know what a person feels and thinks. their thoughts and feelings can make me think too.

maybe that's why people seem to think i'm talkative. i'm not talkative. i just like to say what i think. there's a difference. i guess. a tiny difference. sometimes i don't share with people my thoughts and opinions and feelings. that's why i write. i like writing. no, i love writing. writing is, everything to me. i know i'm not that good of a writer but yeah, i love writing. it keeps me sane once in a while.

i like sharing, i like talking and listening, i love writing.

p.s: have an awesome March.