29 October 2011

stop trying too hard

tidak kisah kah kau berlari
mengejar bintang di angkasa
tapi bila semakin dekat engkau
semakin jauh bintang itu?

sanggup kah engkau berlari
dan terus mengejar
bintang di angkasa
semakin jauh ia
semakin dekat lah engkau?

mampu kah engkau
terus berlari
cuba menggapai sesuatu 
yang kurang pasti
endah kah engkau
pabila ia jauh
kau dekat?

bintang itu akan dekat
bila kau berhenti mengejar
ia akan hilang pabila kau perlu kan
akan datang pabila kau tidak sedar
jadi
"stop trying too hard"

bintang itu akan sedar
lambat laun juga
yang ia juga mampu rindu
perlu kan kasih
ingin kan sayang
bintang
aku akan tunggu dan
berhenti mengejar.


p.s: bintang itu ada di mana-mana. :)



apa ini?

aku tidak kisah
aku cuma ingin tahu
sebab aku masih kisah tapi
aku tidak kisah
cuma
ingin tahu sahaja

salah kah?



p.s: tiada kena mengena dgn sesiapa. cuma terdetik utk menulis

25 October 2011

the bicycle

i remembered when i was a kid, i had a small bicycle. it was red with a blue basket attached at the front of it. the seat was yellow and it had these shiny stringy things hanging at the end of the handle bars. every afternoon, i would cycle around the neighborhood while my dad would faithfully follow me around. i cycled, he jogged. 

when i was about 7, my dad told me, that it was time to remove the tricycles. i was pretty scared because i didn't want to get hurt falling off my bike or something. but my dad said,

"don't worry son. i'll be here to guide you. and if u get hurt, dad and mum will be here taking care of you, always."

my dad's words soothed me a little. so he went inside the house, got a wrench and a screwdriver and began removing the tricycles. once he was done, he told me to get on the bike. slowly, with his guidance, i began cycling slowly while he helped to give me a sense of balance and control over the bike. once he knew i was confident enough and that i was cycling well, he let go of me, slowly and gently. 

i was scared at first but my dad shouted, "keep going my son, you're doing great!" it was exhilarating, cycling without my tricycles for the first time. my dad kept up with me and we continued our usual routine: i cycled, and he jogged. he smiled at me saying that he's proud of me. i smiled back and said thank you.

i'm lucky to have such a dad. he and mum still support me in anything i do; they learn too about when it's the right time for them to teach me about things then slowly letting go of their grip on me and let me learn about life by myself and guide me through the process of growing up. 

i am thankful for having dad and mum, i truly am. 


p.s: this is a fictional.

23 October 2011

dessert, please?

this is where i stand; in a middle of a dessert, dark and cool it is. i'm sure i'm lost but i'm sure where i am. get me? no. you don't have to. i'm just another puppet on earth, controlled by my own thoughts and feelings. sometimes, i don't think, and i don't feel and during those times, is when i feel truly human, or i don't feel anything at all; or i feel like an alien.

i wonder why i am here, in the middle of the dessert. and why is it cool? am i really, here? could i be somewhere else? but i can only feel sand underneath my feet. i'm tired. the dessert's boring. i have not much water and food left.

i'm still confused, why is the dessert cool? maybe because it's dark? the sun's not out? maybe. but it's not that dark. i still can see a little bit of light. i need a jacket. and i need a friend with me. it'll be nice to have someone with me in this dessert. preferably someone i know, or love. but a stranger would be nice too. beggars can't be choosers right? 

or can they?

i should be careful. snakes, scorpions, camels. are camels dangerous? they may as well be. those humps can kill. i should be on a look out. nothing can be too calm and safe, especially when you're in a dessert, alone. it's cold, it's really cold. 

i wonder if there's anybody out there who'd save me? please?


p.s: this is more than meets the eyes.




20 October 2011

hehh

there's always two sides to every story. 

the above statement has got nothing to do with what i'm writing here. i just want to say that i'm really pissed and disappointed at some people because they aren't able to grow up and learn and to accept the fact that there are better people out there. in the working world, we're not gonna be able to choose who we feel comfortable working with. no. the real world doesn't work that way. you're gonna be thrown into random teams of people and thereby, you are forced to work with those people regardless you like them or not.

another point, if you feel like other people are standing out more than you are, then make a point to stand out more than them. don't just go and sneak around, not standing out and yet you're all jealous and insecure that other people are standing out more than you are. that's just pathetic. 

another point, if you have qualms about some people, then talk in front, not behind. have the guts to confront, to tell the truth, no matter how horrible it sounds. 

we are adults already. adopt, adapt, be a hypocrite in all the right sense. 


p.s: grow up already.

17 October 2011

contradiction

i love flights but i'm afraid of heights
i love the sea but i'm scared of drowning
i tell the truth but i'm a hypocrite
i tell lies but i'm honest
i'm loud but i'm shy
i'm confident but i'm insecure
i like animals but i hate rats and cockroaches
i love books but i don't read, that much
i'm determined but i'm lazy
i take risks but i'm calculative
i believe in God but i don't the things He asks of me,
much
i'm perfect but i'm human.



p.s: we contradict.

12 October 2011

i'm not God.

it's weird how people say to you don't judge other people but at the same time, they are judging for judging other people.


p.s: we end up doing the same things.

10 October 2011

blackout.

these are the poems i wrote when sect17 was in the dark because of a blackout. they are in 140 characters or less because i had typed them out on Twitter. 

1.

in this heat i sit and type
illuminated by little light,
i think of possessions i hold dearly
and i shall cherish them forever,
for eternity.

2.

gelap memakan hati
panas menjadi penyeri
nyamuk menyerang tanpa henti.
datang kembali,
wahai elektrik,
ku merindui dirimu.

3.

in darkness wrapped,
victim of mosquito bites,
i sit here quietly,
waiting for light to come.




p.s: electricity, how do we live without you?



09 October 2011

oh thoughts!

random thoughts worthy written
come to mind when i am thinkin'
and far away from pen and paper
i lose them in smoke
poof, they go into oblivion

so now i'm back to clueless state
trying my hardest to think back
those worthy written thoughts
so they can be written
for future references
before,

poof, they go up in smoke.


p.s: that moment when you have a nice thought and when you want to pen it down, you forget.

08 October 2011

who?

when the snow comes and the leaves are gone
the cold winter bites you to the bone
and you're all alone
who will you
turn to
for 
warmth?

07 October 2011

the old me.

i think i'm losing touch with almost everything around me. i'm losing focus, interest and drive. i don't even have a real purpose anymore. i don't know what i am going to end up as. i am lacking writing skills, i'm losing it. i need support. 

i look at things around me without thought and less curiosity. i think not as much as i used to. i don't know if it's a good thing really. i am uninspired. i guess, workload's taking a toll on me. i mean, i am concentrating more on what i should be doing as a student and less concentration is given on what i should be thinking and feeling as a human being. 

i am disappointed by people around me and i disappoint myself. i keep searching for the old me but i can't seem to find it. it's as if when i got my 'new' self, i misplaced the old me and now i can't find it. it's lost. i might have thrown me away for all i know. now i am facing regret. 

i want the old me back. i need the old me back. i miss the old me.


p.s: but i forgot how's the old me like. so how now?

02 October 2011

our hearts

her heart's with you
his heart's with her
her heart's with him
his heart's with him
her heart's with her
his heart's with you


he loves you
but you love someone else
she needs you
you need her at certain times
he wants you
you want another
she dreams of you
you dream of someone else
he makes you happy
you're not
she's there for you when no one else was
you turn your back against her
he holds your hands
you want someone else's
she holds you late at night
when you think of someone else's arms
he kisses you passionately
and all you can taste is someone else

her heart's with you
his heart's with her
her heart's with him
his heart's with him
her heart's with her
his heart's with you


p.s: love works in mysterious ways.

01 October 2011

thoughtless

i haven't been writing for a while. what i mean is, i haven't been writing in full sentences like what i'm doing now. it's scary for me when i can't fit my thoughts into complete sentences. my mind's been all over the place and i haven't been thinking about things that inspire me or make me think. all i can say is so far, i think my focus has been all over the place and sometimes it's there, sometimes it is not. 

i get envious of people who can write their thoughts down and display them beautifully as sentences. i can't do that. i want to, but as much as i want to try, i haven't been successful. i haven't been. all i get are jumbled words in jumbled thoughts and when i try to write them down they evaporate into thin air. they really do.

and when i think of something worthy of being written down, it too evaporates, disappears. then i am left with nothing to write and i am forced to leave my blog empty, quiet and thoughtless. 

i just need to find my mojo back. i just got to.



p.s: this post is inspired by Haki. she writes beautifully and her thoughts are beautiful too.