September.

Oh hello September. 

I'm welcoming you with open arms.

p.s: 3 more months to 2014

C'est La Vie

I think part of my dream has come true:

Working somewhere in the big city, riding the train to and fro from home, surrounded by strangers and dark circles under my eyes. I am an editor at a national television company. I am almost broke but I am excited that I am about to receive my first official pay-check as a working adult. But, I would only have just enough to barely survive for a month. But that's a part as being an adult who comes from an average, low-income family.

I like to think of myself as a young, struggling adult who is about to dive into something un-familiar and challenging, and at the same time loving and living life, and going through 'complex' issues ranging from physical to emotional and even spiritual.

That is life right? It is. It is life copying art. Because you know why? I would put in my earphones and blast music into my ears and imagine I am the main character of a tv series whose life is always very interesting to watch. The interesting part is subjective by the way. 

But seriously, I am about 35% living my dream. The next 65% would require to be in New York, or would require me to publish articles that people, the general people, would actually read and enjoy, and show my credibility as a writer. 

But you cannot have everything in life right? Well, actually, not everyone can have that privilege. I am unfortunately, one of those under-privileged few- depending on how you see my life, and depending on how I myself perceive my life.

Is everything going the way I want it? Quite. But it can be better; it can always be better.


p.s: Growing in every direction (hopefully)

Being an Adult

I think as you grow up, you will start realising things are not always how you would imagine them to be. You would probably want to go back into a cocoon where everything is safe and the only thing you are afraid of is stepping outside into the real world.

It is a daunting process, stepping into the real world. When I was a kid, I used to think that adults had it all figured out. They know all the things about life that kids do not know of. They have all the money in the world to buy stuff that they want and they can go anywhere they want and have freedom to do anything they want- and kids love that. I loved that; I fell for that lie.

I am 23 this year and I do not think that I have my life figured out just yet. I live by going through each day, stepping on egg shells hoping that I would not screw up. I am almost broke and everything that I want to have is stored on an invisible list I have created in my head. I do not have as much freedom as I thought I would. Sure I would have the freedom to choose whatever and however I live my life, but I still have issues with choosing the way I want to lead my life. Sure, freedom is of abundance, but too much freedom can kill you.

So what about being an adult is right? When can we be sure that we have grown up right? 

There is no definite answer but most would choose that the true mark of an adult is when you have a stable job, a stable income, a stable family- a stable life basically. But even stability does not mean that you have made a bench-mark in the adult world. Stable people screw up too. But of course, who doesn't? Nobody's perfect.

What I am trying to say here is adulthood is not as fun as it seems. It is a whole lot of responsibilities, a whole lot of realisations and a whole lot of growing up. One minute you are feeling young, the next you crumble and fall to the floor, too tired to move after a long day's work.

Being an adult is like being a kid- you wake up, you play (homework for kids and work for adults), you get paid (food when you were kids, money as adults), nap time, and sleep and the cycle continues; the difference is as kids, you have less responsibilities.

So I ask you, when you have responsibilities and priorities, where is the freedom that comes with being adults come from?

p.s: A grown up kid, I am.

Adulthood

When I was a kid, I did not dream of becoming an adult. I sorta just grew into my role, year by year. I did not realise, as I grew older, the load and responsibilities, the choices that I would have to make when being an adult. I just lived life as it went.

Being an adult is a great difficulty. You go through life chasing things and before you know it, time stops and it is the end. You chase life for the sake of getting things that you WANT and in the process, losing things that you NEED. 

For some people, I think being an adult means freedom from whatever it is they are fighting for freedom from. For me, it is constrictions and restrictions. It is funny to think that a few years ago I thought being an adult meant more freedom, but freedom from what exactly?

(I have this sudden realisation that I will not be free from anything in this life.)

I think most young kids trying to venture into the adult world do not know what they are going to get themselves into. Heck I did not know what I was getting myself into. There is maybe a need for kids to possess a manual of life about the pros and cons of being an adult. 

But life is life. You choose to see what you choose to see- what you choose to believe. Some people have a blast being an adult. Some people just want to go back to their glory days, even if their glory days were when they were five, eating vanilla ice-cream at a park with mum. 

What I am trying to point out is that being an adult is not what it's cut out to be. You end up having to make your own way, be responsible for yourself and in the process, hopefully, you will not lose yourself. (I am saying this as a reminder to myself.)

Everyone's goal in life should be to achieve happiness. But after all, happiness is subjective. 

p.s: And never lose sight of who you truly are.

Heads and Tails

"Heads we get married, tails we break up." Jake said in a cool tone. He was always cool, like the night's weather. He was cool, but deep inside, his heart was beating; fast. He took out a quarter from his pocket and started to hold it in his palm.

"Is this legit?" Abby asked and raised an eyebrow. Abby was taken aback by Jake's dare. 

"Why? Are you scared?" Jake replied, trying to shield his own nervousness.

"No. I just think it's ridiculous." Abby said, scoffing.

"It's not ridiculous. I think it's different and fun. Alright here we go." Jake was ready to toss the coin and he hoped that his knowledge about Abby- after being with her for so long- that his plan will go on as he had planned. 

"Wait!" said Abby. "I don't want you to propose to me like this. I mean not like this." Abby said with a sad look on her face. "I have this different idea of proposals. I mean, not like this. You know me right? I want something romantic, conventional."

"So you want to get married with me?" Jake's eyes lighted up. His plan seemed to work.

"Yes. I do. I mean why not? Oh shit. That's not a good reply." Abby could feel her cheeks were burning red and she started to laugh nervously because she was nervous- nervous and embarrassed at the same time. 

"You sure?" Jake asked her. "You, want to marry me?"

"Of course I do... I..." Abby stopped mid-sentence. She was trying to find the right words to tell him how she felt for him all these while but she could not find the right words. "I love you." was all she could say. Jake nodded and smiled. Abby continued, "And I don't want to be proposed to like this. I mean, what if we get tails and then we have to break up? I'm superstitious. You know that. I just want to be proposed like other people. You know, the normal, conventional way."

"You mean propose to you like this?" Jake got down on one knee and took out a ring box from his blazer pocket and placed the coin back in the pocket. He, like Abby, was waiting for the perfect time to ask for her hand in marriage. He was unsure what Abby really felt towards him; until tonight. "Abby Thompson, here I am bending on my knee, asking for your hand in marriage. Do you want to? I mean, get married with me?"

Abby was stunned and tears welled in her eyes."Oh my God Jake. I am going to be your wife!" Jake smiled at her and put the ring on her finger. 

Jake got up and kissed her softly on the lips. "We're going to be happy. I can feel it."

"I have never been happier with anyone else other than you." Abby said, and snuggled herself safely in his arms. Jake pulled her closer to him. "Hey, want to see the coin?" Jake pulled the coin out from his pocket and showed it to Abby. 

"Both heads."

p.s: I hope I win. Haha

Fashion Categories

Which category do you belong to?

Designer Whores:

Covered from head-to-toe with designer items, these people are the envy of everyone around them for being able to get their hands on designer items. What the items are and how the items look like are secondary; the main focus is that the items are designer-wear and that it is of utmost importance for designer-obsessed stylistas to have them. They are also a walking advert for designers, showcasing the latest trends off the runway.

Brands Victim:

Brand-conscious people are further sub-categorized into two divisions: Ones With Money, and Ones Without. Now, the Ones With Money do not have much trouble in trying to maintain their brand-conscious status quo but the Ones Without have a huge difficulty. The Ones Without love brands, but could not afford most of the brands they love so they will move to the next closest thing, fake items.

Fakers:

These are the ones who sport designer handbags from China, shades from Vietnam and clothes from Thailand. They are people who are desperately trying to climb up the social ladder by showing off things that they cannot possibly own.

Fashion Changer:

Changing the face of the fashion industry, these people have become trend-setters; mixing the old with the new, the rare with the common, a sight for sore eyes for some, genius for some, annoying for some, and just plain artistic for some. They are bringing street style onto a whole different level.

I-Look-Good-In-Anything:

Some people are just gifted in a sense that they could put anything on them and they could still make the entire outfit work. It takes nothing more than just good ol' plain t-shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans to make them look good and still you would think that their whole look looks like a million bucks. This is truly a gift.

The Pleasers:

Sight for sore-eyes when you see someone with a varsity jacket or a trench coat walking outside a mall when it is blazing hot. Basically people who are in this category are wearing things that they have at the wrong place, at the wrong time, trying to please the wrong crowd. Fashion is all about being effortlessly cool and chic. Trying too hard to impress spoils the fun.

The Trend-Setters:

Not everyone can become trend-setters. It takes a big deal of courage, creativity (and recycling of ideas) to become a trend setter. The people in this category are the ones who will mold and shape the face of the industry for the next year or so, creating avenues for people to copy paste their ideas so that the trend can become widespread.

The Pre-Historics:

Time seems to go into a warp zone when it comes to their clothing. They cling on to bell-bottom pants, neon-coloured eye shadows and lipsticks and baggy clothes from the 90's because they seem to think that fashion have not budged since their long gone era. Why feel the need to dress up when they have passed their prime time?

p.s: This is sucky. 

25 Things About College/Uni Life.

Things you should know and learn about uni/college life:

1. People come and go. Please, do not act like you do not about this. 

2. You would be in at least ONE relationship, or have ONE really severe and serious crush on someone.

3. You will break-down and cry, sometimes for no apparent reason at all.

4. Life gave me lemons. What should I do with them now? *points to ponder*

5. The things you learn in class are nothing compared to things you learn outside of class.

6. Lecturers can be really immature, and stalks you on social networking sites and pretend to not know a thing about you.

7. Oh shit.... That course has an assignment due... TODAY? It has a final paper?! FML!

8. Money? I just had it. Now it is gone.

9. Can I see my family now? Please?

10. Study? Assignment? Tomorrow it is! 

11. The more people you know, the lesser people you trust.

12. Some people will never grow up. Childish pricks.

13. Time flies by fast when you are having fun, but passes by very slowly when you are in a boring class.

14. Assignments are like Mexican food- best served while still warm.

15. You will realize the amount of time in examination halls is the amount of time you will never, ever get back.

16. High school dramas and college/uni dramas are not that different.

17. Group work? Heck I'll do it myself you incompetent fools.

18. Strangers become best friends, best friends become strangers.

19. One of your electronics will break down and you will have a meltdown because of it.

20. Food is best served when it is free.

21. Morning class? You mean, the class I skip almost every time.

22. Free wi-fi! Free wi-fi! Free wi-fi!

23. Going anywhere with friends can be both very fun, or very annoying.

24. Staying up all night doing nothing in particular is a must.

25. And when everything has ended, you miss every single moment- well, almost. 

p.s: Thought Catalog inspired.