random post 3. (beware! vanity involved)

i think at first glance, people will see me as shallow. i think it's because of the way i dress, and talk and carry myself or maybe it is just my perception that i think people think i'm shallow when in fact they don't really think about me that much as i don't or didn't really matter in their lives. 

perhaps.

i guess if i see myself from an outsider's point of view, i'd regard and see myself as shallow. yes, shallow. as in, someone who doesn't think a lot and has very limited thinking skills and can only summon 0.003% of his mental capabilities. shallow as in someone who has very limited views on life or probably none at all. shallow as in self-centered. shallow as in selfish. shallow as being unable to think and view the world from different points and perspectives. 

yes. shallow.

but i guess i rather surprise people with what a not shallow person i am. i mean i am a thinker and people often seem to think i am too much of a thinker. i like to think myself as an observer and i sit idly and watch people go by. i do that sometimes though and people would think i'm a freak for looking and staring at them. i mean no harm really. it's just that my mind sometimes gets so caught up that i forget remove my stares. 

sometimes i think about their dressing; their overall appearance really. after that i'd move on to bigger things like their behaviors, the sound of their voices or their actions and expressions. then my mind starts creating stories and making up stuff and then i wish i'd have pens and papers with me so i can write my thoughts down. i guess i should do that. and make scripts and send them in.

and make money. and buy clothes. and become fashionable and attractive. and hangout at the "cool and in" places like posh cafes with overpriced drinks and food or at art districts or something.

oh. i am shallow after all. 

well, a portion of me at least. according to a friend, she thinks everyone's shallow. i happened to agree with her. 

i like talking to her, this friend. she's very insightful and has very open thoughts and opinions and i enjoy sharing conversations with her. we disagree and agree at the same time. is that even possible? anyways, every time that i get the chance to talk to her, i'd use the time wisely. i love her views.. and her voice. and the way she speaks with her own accent (or slang?). she's different from other people because she takes time to listen, digest and then she'll speak her mind. she is out-of-the-box.

i love the fact that we both see the world like pieces of literature (or maybe it's just me? i think she feels the same way.) we are characters and the rest are too. both of us know our characters and which roles to play, which mask to wear and how to react according to the plan in our heads but most of the time it's just impromptu acting.

i told her that she's socially-experimenting because she's not the sort of person to just stick to a group of people. she's her own group. her own mind. i see her as that way. i like the fact that when i said that she's socially-experimenting, she said "i'm glad someone's noticed."

i love heart-to-heart, mind-to-mind talk, especially when it's between only 2 individuals that either know each other very well, doesn't know each other or barely know each other. 

p.s: had a wonderful ending to a chaotic day and also an opening to an uncertain day. by the way, Mr.Kieran said i should read more and i agree. i have problems with my tenses and punctuations. and i agree.