history with a Boy

i received a text from you saying that you wanted to meet up on the stage we used to hang out with our friends. your words from the text, they seemed cold, distant. so i went to the stage, or behind it, where i saw you sitting on a chair. you gestured me to come and sit directly opposite you. there was no chair. so i sat on the floor, my back against the wall. i didn't know or understand the significance of the position you had placed me in. looking back now, i understand. you were in the superior position, i was inferior. i was dust, an ant, a mere garbage-you were everything beyond those things i wrote. then, it happened. you burst out into flames. you were angry, really angry. you asked me questions that i had a difficult time answering. i've never seen you that angry before. my heart was literally screaming. after you've finished saying the things you wanted to say, you got up from your chair, after giving me a firm warning to stay away, you walked away.

i cried.

we did stay away from each other. we ended up not talking with each other for a few months. people noticed. we were so close before now we're drifting apart that people started noticing that you and i weren't spending that much time together or didn't talk at all with each other. i don't know if you've told anyone the reasons of why we were drifting apart and thinking back, i wonder if i did talk to anyone, too.

as fate would put it, we were friends again in the third semester. i don't know what exactly brought us together again. drama class perhaps? but we did bond again. i'm glad that we did. i'm glad that you didn't kick me out from your life. i'm glad you accepted me as i am. i'm glad that you know me so well, that every move i make you'd predict with almost perfect accuracy. i love your insights. i love and loathe your brutal honesty. i love that i could turn to you when i need someone to turn to. i like (and hate) the fact that you'd pull me down to earth when my head is so high up in the clouds. we're closer now, a whole lot closer than we ever were.

i am thankful that i have you as a friend. "like adik-beradik" a friend of ours would say and my heart would jump with joy. i do see us close like that, like siblings. i wonder if you feel the same way. i'm glad that you've made plans for the future, and those plans include me. they're just plans, i know, but you thought of me. that means a lot to me. 

you mean a lot to me.

thank you.

p.s: for a crush (in the past)