i'm not God.

it's weird how people say to you don't judge other people but at the same time, they are judging for judging other people.

p.s: we end up doing the same things.

blackout.

these are the poems i wrote when sect17 was in the dark because of a blackout. they are in 140 characters or less because i had typed them out on Twitter. 

1.

in this heat i sit and type

illuminated by little light,

i think of possessions i hold dearly

and i shall cherish them forever,

for eternity.

2.

gelap memakan hati

panas menjadi penyeri

nyamuk menyerang tanpa henti.

datang kembali,

wahai elektrik,

ku merindui dirimu.

3.

in darkness wrapped,

victim of mosquito bites,

i sit here quietly,

waiting for light to come.




p.s: electricity, how do we live without you?

oh thoughts!

random thoughts worthy written

come to mind when i am thinkin'

and far away from pen and paper

i lose them in smoke

poof, they go into oblivion

so now i'm back to clueless state

trying my hardest to think back

those worthy written thoughts

so they can be written

for future references

before,

poof, they go up in smoke.

p.s: that moment when you have a nice thought and when you want to pen it down, you forget.

who?

when the snow comes and the leaves are gone

the cold winter bites you to the bone

and you're all alone

who will you

turn to

for 

warmth?

the old me.

i think i'm losing touch with almost everything around me. i'm losing focus, interest and drive. i don't even have a real purpose anymore. i don't know what i am going to end up as. i am lacking writing skills, i'm losing it. i need support. 

i look at things around me without thought and less curiosity. i think not as much as i used to. i don't know if it's a good thing really. i am uninspired. i guess, workload's taking a toll on me. i mean, i am concentrating more on what i should be doing as a student and less concentration is given on what i should be thinking and feeling as a human being. 

i am disappointed by people around me and i disappoint myself. i keep searching for the old me but i can't seem to find it. it's as if when i got my 'new' self, i misplaced the old me and now i can't find it. it's lost. i might have thrown me away for all i know. now i am facing regret. 

i want the old me back. i need the old me back. i miss the old me.

p.s: but i forgot how's the old me like. so how now?

our hearts

her heart's with you

his heart's with her

her heart's with him

his heart's with him

her heart's with her

his heart's with you

he loves you

but you love someone else

she needs you

you need her at certain times

he wants you

you want another

she dreams of you

you dream of someone else

he makes you happy

you're not

she's there for you when no one else was

you turn your back against her

he holds your hands

you want someone else's

she holds you late at night

when you think of someone else's arms

he kisses you passionately

and all you can taste is someone else

her heart's with you

his heart's with her

her heart's with him

his heart's with him

her heart's with her

his heart's with you

p.s: love works in mysterious ways.

thoughtless

i haven't been writing for a while. what i mean is, i haven't been writing in full sentences like what i'm doing now. it's scary for me when i can't fit my thoughts into complete sentences. my mind's been all over the place and i haven't been thinking about things that inspire me or make me think. all i can say is so far, i think my focus has been all over the place and sometimes it's there, sometimes it is not. 

i get envious of people who can write their thoughts down and display them beautifully as sentences. i can't do that. i want to, but as much as i want to try, i haven't been successful. i haven't been. all i get are jumbled words in jumbled thoughts and when i try to write them down they evaporate into thin air. they really do.

and when i think of something worthy of being written down, it too evaporates, disappears. then i am left with nothing to write and i am forced to leave my blog empty, quiet and thoughtless. 

i just need to find my mojo back. i just got to.

p.s: this post is inspired by Haki. she writes beautifully and her thoughts are beautiful too.