kisses

i blow kisses into thin air

hoping you'll be there

to catch those kisses upon

your sweet, sweet lips

so divine, so fine.

i can't get you off my mind

like a diamond you shine

bright, like stars too

you make me feel brand new,

baby boo.

so take me in,

take all of me,

be my baby

take me in, take me in;

kiss me right,

hold me tight

i'm a mess

make me fine

try your best

and i'll be fine.

i blow kisses into thin air

hoping you'll be there

baby, you are rare

so please don't disappear

don't go away.

p.s: Taurus.

the first and the last.

"you're different." she told him.

"i'm sure you say that to every guy you've when out on dates with." he replied nonchalantly.

"no i don't. i could tell, you're something different." she protested in defense.

"o.k. what makes me different from the rest of the other guys?" he asked and raised an eyebrow. 

she giggled at his expression. cute, she thought. "well if you must ask, i think... i... hmm... how do i put this..." she was struggling to find words to describe him but she couldn't. how could she describe this man? how could she? she has never felt this way before. sure, she has gone out on many dates before and sure some of the guys she's dated were hotter and richer but he, she thought, was different. she couldn't go to sleep without thinking of his warm smile, and at the thought of his clear green eyes, she'd shudder in delight. his touch sent electric jolts down her spine, raised goosebumps on her skin. he made her felt warmer in his embrace than she ever was covered with her blanket. she liked the way he held her in his arms. she felt safe, secure, wanted- she never felt that way with the other guys.

"so, no way could you describe what sets me apart from the other guys you've been with?" he asked her and a slow smile crept on his face.

instead of answering his question with words, she slowly leaned her head towards him and laid her lips on top of his and gave him a deep, sensual and passionate kiss. she held his head and played with his hair and that took him by surprise. she separated her lips from him and smiled when she looked at his surprised expression. 

"i love you. you're different because you're the first person to ever make me feel warm, wanted, safe. you give me life. you've opened my eyes, my heart and my soul and i love you. i've never, ever felt this way with the other guys." she told him while looking down at the floor. "you're my first love, i guess."

he cupped her chin with his hand and lifted her chin up so that she'd look at him straight into his eyes.

"you're not the first girl i've dated, and you're not the first love in my life but i sure damn hope that you'll be my one and only, my last."

she smiled and kissed him again and he replied her kiss, eagerly.

p.s: he was her first love but she was not is first love, but they were each other's last love.

gila dan mabuk

detik-detik bersama kau aku simpan;

aku catat atas kertas warna-warni

dan aku simpan dalam bekas kaca

kedap udara.

setiap kali aku rindu,

aku buka bekas itu dan aku baca

detik-detik tersebut sehingga

aku senyum sendirian seperti

orang gila-

orang gila yang sedang mabuk:

bercinta.

p.s: sehingga senyuman bertukar menjadi tangisan.

oh kau lagi?

kau tarik aku untuk jatuh cinta 

(semula)

dan aku dengan selambanya setuju

padahal aku tahu.......

(komplikasi emosi)

p.s: what have i gotten myself into.

life and death

as you bring life into a lifeless shell

and piecing together millions of pieces

of a shattered heart

resuscitating a breathless soul,

an emotional wreck of a body

whose battered skin, covered by black

and blue

trying to make me believe that i can feel,

again,

that i am ready for another round

of gunshots, of wounds, of vulnerability,

of love lost once, twice, 

thrice?

do know you will be the life of me,

the death of me.

p.s: rindu.

love is:

you know love can make you do the craziest things-things that you don't ever think of doing under normal circumstances? love can make you change your beliefs, it can change your ideas, and it can change your feelings. love is a force but it is an understatement. it is not a force. it is more than a force. it is something magical and for some, it is a fantasy. some have experienced extreme pain from it and some have gone through ecstatic happiness. love is not a force. a force does not dictate the way you feel. love is an energy. it gives life to lifeless souls. it is a challenge, love. it is tiring for some, repetitive in nature and often enables you to redo mistakes that you've sworn to not repeat. love is demanding. it takes a lot of your mind, your time, your energy. love is responsibility, understanding and everything in between. love is not just all things happy and glitter, sunshine and stars and the moon-it's pain too. it's a whole lot of pain sometimes. pain that makes you feel like you're going to die because you're so out of breath or your heart's beating so fast out of anger and frustration. love is not everything nice, love is everything ugly too.

love is scientific, it is literature, it is psychology, sociology, physiology, and it is life. love is an escape, love is an escape pod; some need to escape from love. love is confusing but certain. love is smart and renders people stupid. it makes the sane go crazy and the crazy to crazier. love is tragic, indeed. love is drama. love is simple in principles but complicated in nature. love needs execution. love needs communication. love needs life. love needs care. love needs individuals who care for each other. love is mysterious. no one can solve it. love is kinky. love is sexy. love makes you feel sexy. love makes you sleep, love distracts you from sleep. love is everything.

love is art. 

p.s: love. heh.

wretched thing.

i think i'm falling

deeper 

like i always do

i fear the fall

i fear most

not getting caught.

i am a naive, experienced

person, boy, man, kid?

i know

but i don't 

i keep on falling oh boy,

why do i do?

i might die, or get saved

whichever way

i'm still falling

whichever's the option

i know pain will be involved.

p.s: oh, love? pfftt