we'll manage

"i think i have to go." he said to her. his bags were packed and he definitely was ready to go, and leave her.

"this is not how things are supposed to end between the two of us." she said between sobs. she expected their departure from each other weeks before today but the overwhelming feelings that came along with the departure: that, she didn't expect, at all.

"you want me to leave right? i'm just giving you what you want." he said calmly as he collected the remaining of his things from her bedroom: his shirts, his briefs, some of his pictures, a few of his old toy cars that he'd play with before he fell asleep. she always thought that that act was childish but now all she could think was how endearing it actually was. 

"i know, i know but couldn't we at least talk about it? i mean where we're supposed to be after this? are we going to be o.k.?' she said, sitting at the edge of her bed now, trying her best to remain composed but she couldn't hold back her sobs, it was too hard.

"i don't know about you, but i have this fantastic plan laid out. i will be out of your hair, out of your life before you can say, 'move on'" he said cheekily, smiling at her. "i'm all done now." he said. "oh by the way," he said while saddling the bags on his shoulder, "i don't know if we're going to be friends. i really don't. but hey, we'll keep in touch somehow. i know we will."

"but how?" she said, now getting up to follow him.

they stopped at her front door, and he was already turning the knob, opening the door slightly, "we'll manage somehow," he said and before he left, he kissed the top of her head and wished her goodbye. when the door closed, she leaned her back against it and cried the whole night through.

*

it was a lie. he didn't have any plans. the plan was just to take all his things and move on. live one day at a time. that was it. but he was determined. he knew he had to be strong. the temptation to go back to her and hold her in his arms, and be together again; but his will and mind were much stronger than his heart. so he chose to walk away for now, not wanting to look back because the pain would be too much to bear. he had to go. he had to prove something: to himself especially. so in the dead, cold and silent night, he walked towards his home, though struggling to contain his tears, he knew that he will survive this. this was just another heartbreak, and somehow, he had trust, and most importantly faith, that he'd make through this one just like he had made through the other breakups. i will survive this, i will, he thought and he will.

*

she didn't expect things to be this hard. the next few weeks were tough on her. she couldn't really think straight. she had a difficult time at work, her friends were concerned that she hadn't eaten properly and that her life was quite a mess. one day though, she woke up with a great sense of realisation that she needed to change what and how she was feeling. she couldn't be this way, she thought to herself. being in grief all the time isn't the way to live. it was the first time in weeks that she actually woke up with a smile on her face. she knew moving on was hard work, but she had gone through it numerous times before and that she had gone through them o.k. things will be fine, they always do, she thought to herself. she got up and went to work with a smile and new found confidence and though her mind would sometime lead itself to him and that night, it doesn't bother her that much anymore. i will survive this, i will, she thought and she will.

p.s: because everyone survives a heartbreak.