we gr(o/e)w apart.

"whatever happened to us?" was the first question that he came up with. honestly, i didn't have the slightest clue on how to respond or what to say to this question. 4 words, a sentence, a question mark and a no answer from me. such a simple structure of a sentence, a straight-forward question with no double meaning or hidden agendas. the question was direct, concise, meaningful; it was perfect. and yet, for me to come up with a response as good as that? nothing. it was as if my brain had stopped functioning, my tongue was cut, my heart stopped beating. i looked at him in the eyes, but i was lost in my own thoughtless thoughts.

"whatever happened to us?" he asked again. we've known each other for sometime now. we go way back. we shared a lot of history together, me and him. we were so close, so inseparable, it was as if we were joined at the hips. we finished each other's sentences at times. we told each other everything: secrets, gossips, stories, fights, makeups; everything. we were almost always together. people knew who we were as individuals and they knew us better as a pair, what we were capable of, what and how we acted when the two of us were together. we were happy, truly happy. i knew i was happy with you-truly, genuinely happy.

then something changed and we grew apart.

i couldn't explain to you what and how or when it happened exactly. it just did. maybe i could tell you why. maybe because it was because of the distance or maybe because we met new people. losing touch nowadays is so, invalid. maybe we just didn't see eye to eye on things? but we haven't argued for the longest time. maybe we didn't have anything in common anymore? that would be a lie too. before he brought the question up, we were talking as if, as if, as if we were never separated. as if we had each other all these while and we never grew apart. maybe it's the workload we both face. maybe. work has been consuming both of us that we barely had the the time to talk to each other. but then again, i see you (as in reading your social obligations on Facebook and Twitter) hanging out with people and i see myself hanging out with people. so where did we go wrong?

maybe we never did go wrong. maybe, i was just thinking too much. maybe it was the guilt of not trying hard enough to make you stay. but, in my defense, you didn't do the same. so why should i be the only one trying to make us be what we were? but another question, why shouldn't i be? maybe i'm just too tired being the one who's always calling, texting, emailing, mentioning you but i did all of those because i wanted to. you didn't force me. and the best part was i enjoyed doing them. so why did i stop? this is my fault. i shouldn't have stopped. i should've continued on with my role as the 'contact person' but i stopped. why? because i chose to. because i was tired. i shouldn't have. why did i get tired? i shouldn't get tired. this is us we're talking about here, me and him. why did i? 

maybe it made me realized something. i didn't want to be the only one to start something, or anything. we should do it together. maybe i should've told you earlier about this but i didn't and i guess that's my fault. but then again, you did act like you didn't care or didn't even realize that you and i were growing apart. but we're here because of you today. you called asking me if we could meet. i said yes. we met and it wasn't awkward at all. like i said, it's as if we haven't grown apart. until you asked that question. but just to tell you the truth, yes, i am tired. i am frustrated. i am upset. i am all of those because instead of you and me making the effort in being what we are, i am the only one doing all the dirty work while you sit in your comfy lounge chair waiting for me to call or text or mention you. that's unfair. why don't you do it sometimes? why? we are what we are so we should do this together. 

i know this is an unfair, biased side of the story but this is my side. 

"so, whatever happened to us?" you asked again. i inhaled, and i began telling you what i feel and i am seeing how your face is changing and i keep telling, not knowing where this will go.

p.s: because things change and the future is not for us to know. sto stick with present and cherish everyone who cherishes you.