realization.

there is that one profound moment when suddenly all the realizations that have been missing when you need them come rushing to you in droves and they hit you like bricks and your mind starts making sense of the situation that you are in. all of sudden, you don't feel depressed, or empty or angry and all you can feel is this great relief washing over you like a tsunami. the things, feelings that don't make sense they suddenly become so clear to you that you wonder why all of those times they didn't. you start thinking and contemplating and you begin to reevaluate your situation and the options you have. you begin to smile slowly and you face-palm yourself for being so silly and stupid when the solution you've been seeking is so, clear and simple and precise you almost cry at your own idiocy. then, slowly, surely, you start picking yourself up from the rut and begin, step by step, moving away from the scene of destruction into a new destination of which you know nothing about but of which you are sure to go towards to. 

you raise your chin up and you begin to look forward to everything else which is laid in front of you. but before you leave, you leave this box, a package of some sort for some people saying that you'll be alright, you'll be o.k. that package contains things saying that you need them but you don't necessarily need them, or you miss them or things like i'm chasing and you're running, why don't you start chasing me instead but i'm not hoping for that to happen though so you say that you'll just have to keep moving forward and forward because you know if you don't move forward you'll be stuck and being stuck is not the best option.

so you tell yourself in one of these great moments of realizations that things will come into place. that things will get better. that you're not done chasing but you're done disappointing yourself and other people. that you're done being this way and you need to find your smile again. that you still love him/her but when that one party does not do anything maybe it's just best to leave things the way they are and maybe in the future things will turn out to be brighter for you and for everyone who is involved, who knows? you're leaving because you want to make a change. you're leaving because it's the most painful but at the same time it is the right thing to do. in your right sense you think, why should you do this alone? why should you fix this alone when it takes two?

 so you leave the package behind saying that both of you will come together and mend things again. it may not be now, or the next day, or the next week or month or year, but the time will come by itself and at that time it's not only you who'll have that moment of realization, that other person will too and so will others who were or are involved. really because if you guys are meant to be together things will fall into place by themselves, no extra force needed. just take a deep gulp of patience, a spoonful of strength and take that leap forward because when people have done the pushing and you're not budging, then you're all by yourself and that leap forward or leap of faith is essential. 

because really, you'll never know what will happen along your journey. so just, take steps and make wise choices, let fate take its course. if you're stuck, you're not going anywhere and you're just wasting precious moments of your once-in-a-lifetime life. if you're moving though it is painful, at least you're going somewhere, at least. don't have expectations. just, go somewhere. open up your mind and heart and eyes and soul and everything will be alright, because they always end up alright. they will. they will. 

don't meddle into things you can't control. control yourself first.

so the first step you have to do now is, decide: should you leave the package and move on, or do you want to stay with the package and cling to it like a pathetic loser you already are and not go anywhere and waste your time waiting for the package to be picked up by that particular someone when in actual reality that person won't pick up that package because you're clinging to it like a baby and it annoys him and scares him at the same time so he decides to wait til you move to pick up that package? decide carefully and wisely. 

realization will come. you just haven't realized it yet. 

p.s: if you just realize.