i believe the people in our lives are there for a purpose. sometimes these people can leave the biggest impacts or some of them don't give any impact at all. some of these people, you've probably known hundreds by now, they disappear into the background; they are the people you rarely think about. you know them but you just know them. some few ones you've selected are the ones you hold dearly close to your heart. they are the ones you turn to for a shoulder to cry on, for warmth and security, for advice. they are further special people, people who you'll think about constantly before you go to bed, the first thing you wake up in the morning they're in your thoughts. for whatever reasons, you can't seem to get them out of your head. even when you think you've forgotten about them, something, somewhere, sometime will bring back those memories you've had with these special people and a longing, nostalgia builds in you and you wish you could turn back time but you know you can't. so there's nothing else you can do but to relive those memories in your head.
because it makes you feel good, and sometimes because you can't help yourself to be transported back to those days when the things you did with these people mattered so much. that's why the memories stay. because they matter to you. unlike the other memories you've had with some other people, the memories you have with these special people, you keep them in a special box that you've wrapped neatly with golden bows and stored safely in a closet, locked and secured. when something reminds you of those memories, those boxes will be out and you will look and feel and yearn for them but you know you'll probably never have them again. so after that, you put those memories back into the boxes and place them back in the closet.
people change. the person you're closed with can turn out to be so distant to you. like an ex sleeping over at your house but you know you can't touch her because you had her and you feel so desperately wanting to hug her in her sleep but you can't because you know you're not supposed to because that's not the right thing to do. instead, you go back to your bedroom and think about all the days you spent with her lying side by side, sharing intimacy and inside jokes that only the two of you understand and now, no more. because things change, people change, hence certain circumstances are raised. but you will know that that person will always be special to you, no matter what happened between the two of you. she may not feel the same way but why does that matter? what matters is what and how you feel because, that's just how you work, and think, and feel.
you put labels on people according to the degree of importance they play in your life, the purpose they bring in your life, their roles in your life. these roles and purpose change, and so does the degree of importance. circumstances can change these things, and time too. the people you know best become strangers, the strangers become people you know best. people lose touch, people keep in touch, people fall in and out of love with you, people care, and cared. some people stay, some people go. as cliche as this sounds, it is a fact of life. it is cliche because we all go through it, regardless if we like it or not, purposive or accidental.
what most people become are fragments of memories, patches of thoughts and feelings. but not all though, not all. some persistent ones do stay. they stay because you made them, they stay because they chose to, they stay because, just because they do. you won't know the exact reasons as why they chose to stay like you know the reasons why most people leave, but you should just be thankful and grateful that they're there to stay to make your perfectly insane life sane.
and oh, sometimes they stay because they love, care and need you as much as you love, care and need them.
sometimes people who disappear will come back to you. if it's meant to be, it is meant to be. don't be scared to lose people. they're bound to be replaced, or they're bound to return. if they don't return, they we'rent meant to stay in the first place. if they're gone and they return, that means that they just needed the space to learn to miss you, or to learn for a while, that they can survive without you. and people die too. some deaths you care about more than others. some affect you badly than others. death is natural, and unavoidable. sometimes people who are gone forever cannot be replaced though but you still hold those memories with them. don't lose them. but then again, do not close your heart to not to learn accept new people coming into your lives. we need people. we do. don't deny. we're not meant to live alone, we're interdependent. it's part of being human.
we're connected by life. nothing can stop that.
p.s: human connections.
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